So it's been one of those weeks where I'm just thinking to myself wait what did I actually do?
Shows how tired I've been as even halfway through the week I was getting so tired I wasn't able to concentrate properly. I'm one of those people that really needs sleep otherwise I get delirious and it isn't good I can get quite moody oops..I wish I wasn't but hey some people just aren't lucky like that.
So by Friday I was just so ready to go home and sleep for forever (at least until like 10:30 anyway)
Here's something I did to show you how delirious I really was:
In class I was like who's exam paper is this because all I saw was F10 and my confused brain thought oh it must be some new weird marking system (yep when I'm tired I believe anything is possible and also just laugh at the most stupid stuff) but anyway if you haven't already guessed it actually read Flo which is a nickname short for Florence. Yeah I have no words (apart from the ones I just said..sorry I need to stop)
Then on Wedneday first lesson I remembered I had an English mock first which I was at least gonna briefly look at my notes but I forgot (just the usual) By that point I was so tired and I managed to write a page which just about made sense, but by the second page I was literally 'fading out' as my teacher put it. I just couldn't write proper sentences which made sense; which is obviously vital for doing English language (I chose the wrong subject ha) I mean I only have myself to blame, I just end up messaging my friends too late and not feeling that tired but then really feeling it in the morning. Getting out of the bed in the morning is one of the worst struggles ever, wouldn't you agree?
Oh so I got my clinical mock I revised lots for back and only got a C..I know it's still good but I need/want a B. When I looked back at it I realised I misread some of the questions, I literally get so excited that a question comes up that I actually know the answer too I forget to properly read the question..(it said evaluate not describe ugh) Then the first question I thought I put 4 marks worth and got a bit too blasé about it being like yeah that's 4 makes worth even though I could have written more. Probably should change my attitude before exams and just always write more than I should because you can't get marked down (thank god for that I'd be so screwed if that was a thing..)
Omg so we break up next Thursday for 2 whole weeks I can't fucking wait!! I need a break so bad, even though I know I'll have revision to do at least I don't have to wake up at ridiculous hours in the morning. The best thing is that I finish school after period 3 on a Thursday anyway and only go in period 5 on a Monday so I only have 2 full school days that makes me so happy.
Random note but you know when you end up reavaluating your whole life like what do I even wanna do, do I wanna go to uni I just don't know anymore?! But the thing is I have even less of a clue what I'd do if I didn't go so yeah it's complicated, why is life so hard... (Clearly over exaggerating but you know that's my thing;)
If you're wondering they are cat toys to the left, I even had to buy a dog toy (I don't have a dog and my cat doesn't like noisy/light up toys as well but oh well it's for photography)
This is an example of why you don't write on your hand oops will need to photoshop that bit out (I was thinking of A even though I haven't watched the pretty little liars series)
(Back to cats)Cats are just the best animals ever! (ignoring anyone who says otherwise, I know dogs are cute but nahh cats all the way! Who's with me? (why am I trying to get an army of cat lovers oh idek ignore me) They're just so independent that you feel so appreciated when your cat chooses to sit on you because if they really didn't wanna sit on you then they just wouldn't. Whereas dogs are way more co-dependent so you know they rely on you for pretty much anything so it isn't that much of a surprise or a big deal when they sit on you.
This post has been such a ramble, kinda how my brain feels right now sorry. I keep getting that awful knot of anxiety in my stomach and ugh I'm sure some of you know it's the worst (fingers up emoji directed at anxiety right now, nobody likes you okay..I've gone to a new low talking to something that isn't even human haha) I feel so cooped up in my house I need some fresh air, stands outside my room yep that's better.. you are amazing if you get that big bang theory reference, I love Sheldon! It mostly happens when I do photography because it turns out I'm such a perfectionist when it comes to organising my pictures, so I've started to just try relax more and be like screw it I crossed off something in my work I realistically won't get marked down. It's difficult because anxiety isn't rational, it just exists even if your brain is like nope it's okay anxiety just remains a bitch.
I'm just gonna leave it with why isn't there a day between Saturday & Sunday to just chill and not stress over doing any work, I know it's impossible obviously we can't just invent a day or move a day..or could we.. I mean I don't mind sacrificing Friday to just become part of the weekend;)
Friendly reminder that it's less than a week until a 2 week rest from school!
Talk soon, byeeee
Sophie
♥♥
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